If you are a member of the savvy “millennial” generation you stand for two things: authenticity, and hipness. And you know god damn well in your little black hearts that no bank is more authentic—and hip—than Bank of America.

Some big banks may be okay with sitting back, being old, hanging out with old people, talking about money, being inauthentic, and lacking in hipness. Not “Bae”nk of America. They are a bank committed to both authenticity and hipness that you, the easily persuaded and desperate for approval “millennial” generation, can relate to.

Would a less than authentic banking institution sponsor a fuckin infomercial on famously hip media platform Vice? I do not think so. It’s hip moves like these that may have you asking yourself: How can I, a millennial with disposable income, learn more about Bank of America’s commitment to connecting with my generation in an authentic manner? We’re pleased that you asked. Meredith Verdone, a Bank of America marketing executive, takes to the pages of Ad Age today with a revealing and authentic op-ed explaining exactly how Bank of America is achieving a level of hipness that makes it the envy of its Wall Street peers.

“Do you want to be hip?” she begins, promisingly. “Tell young people you don’t like big banks. The way some talk, our largest financial institutions are as fashionable as flared collars and stonewashed jeans.”

That sounds unfashionable indeed. But what is Bank of America doing to be hip enough to hang out with millennials, which Verdone calls “one of the most influential generations in decades”—which sounds a lot like “one of the most influential generations within the span of a generation,” but let’s move on!

With roughly 9 million millennial households as customers, Bank of America has a big stake in being relevant to the selfie generation, which begins with being authentic. More than any other generation, millennials want to do things on their own terms...

All of this makes authenticity a big deal. For a company to succeed with millennials, it can’t just shout, “We’re innovative!” and “We care!” We have to listen, we have to analyze data and, most importantly, we have to take risks to be relevant — and maybe make each other a little uncomfortable by saying, “We’re trying something new. Maybe it’ll work, maybe not.”

Bank of America is not a bank that is bogus, false, phony, specious, contrived, or ungenuine. On the contrary, Bank of America is authentic—just like you, and those born within two decades of you.

Beyond what you can do for them, millennials want the companies they do business with to be invested in improving the world. The term is “corporate social responsibility,” but it’s really about how companies use their resources to make a difference.

You need the right partners to tackle big problems. For instance, to help fight AIDS we’ve worked with (Red) and U2, providing more than 15 million days of medication to help prevent HIV transmission in Africa. This isn’t about scoring points with millennials. It’s because we and they know it’s the right thing to do.

Bank of America pillages its customers with hidden fees, helped to blow up the global economy with risky subprime mortgages, and is one of the most unpopular banks in the nation for good reason. Telling you this isn’t about scoring points with millennials. It’s because we know it’s the right thing to do.

“Bae”nk authentically (and hiply) @#TalkinBoutMyGeneration *****$$$$$ 1love4alltime.

[Photo: Getty]

Contact the author at Hamilton@Gawker.com.