Bad Neighbor Holds Neighborhood Hostage With His Dick for a Whole Decade
After roughly a decade of living in nightmarish captivity and being forced to view a man's exposed dick on a weekly basis, residents of one Charlotte, N.C. neighborhood are organizing to rise up against their nude oppressor.
The police have been no help, because a man standing on his own porch naked is not a crime, and whatever dark witchcraft compels his victims to stare angrily at his p-wang instead of looking away and moving on with their lives has yet to be proscribed by local lawmakers.
When the public menace strode once more to the stoop of his sinister, aluminum-sided lair Friday (see photo above) police responded the same way they've responded for the past 10 years.
"Since it is not a criminal incident, it was documented in the 'call for service' but there is no report," a Charlotte-Mecklenburg police spokeswoman told WBTV.
Now the unnamed man's prisoners are taking more drastic steps to end his reign of naked terror, endeavoring to change the local laws that allow him to live as an Always-Nude on his private property.
They've appealed to the Homeowner's Association, hoping they might be more responsive than Charlotte's live-and-let-live cops.
But, while they're waiting for their appeal to be heard, they find themselves unable to look away from the cock and balls in their midst. In fact, things seem to be getting worse: WBTV reports that this week, they "capture[d] pictures and video of the man standing at his door."
Now even when the villain retreats to the privacy of his home, the digital image of his donger will linger on, haunting them eternally.