A cafe in Perth, Australia was slapped with fines after its absurd pay docking policies were deemed officially absurd by the country's Fair Work Ombudsman, which discovered penalties for small mistakes no employee could ever afford to accidentally make. They include losing $112 from your paycheck for not getting a pork belly dish "crispy enough."

Other fuck-ups you cannot afford to make at this Australian cafe, as reported by the Australian Associated Press:

• $30 for every tomato you place in the wrong layer of the club sandwich.

• $12 for every overcooked waffle.

• $10 for every time you forget to prepare parsley for the next day.

• $100 for every time you show up late, even five minutes.

Australian Fair Work Ombudsman Natalie James deemed all these rules unlawful and was prompted to investigate after four employees filed complaints.

"Further, this employer was asking its staff to pay up to $1200 each out of their own pockets for in-house cooking demonstrations by the cafe's head chef," James told the Australian Associated Press.

She also berated the business for policies that do not encourage positive employee-employer working relationships, but rather incite them to report you to a government agency:

The Fair Work Ombudsman issued the business with on-the-spot fines totalling $7650 and a letter of caution placing it on notice for any further contraventions.

"Deducting money from employee wages as a punishment, or as some sort of performance management tool, is completely unlawful," Ms James said.

"And it is clearly not a constructive way of encouraging staff to improve their performance if there are performance issues that need addressing."

[Image via The Australian]