Apparently, the humble bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll, which can be purchased at most Midtown delis for a couple of bucks, does not meet the standards of Joseph Checkler's refined tastebuds.

So Checkler has established a Kickstarter to "save" the egg sandwich, in the way a prince might save a princess from a burning castle in a fairy tale written by a lunatic. He writes:

I know everyone's in a rush, but I've created a few simple rules that I will deliver – whether electronically, personally or via U.S. mail – to every purported egg sandwich purveyor in Midtown Manhattan, which for the purposes of this first project I will define as 55th Street down to 33rd Street, between 9th Avenue and Park Avenue. I understand some of them might already be doing it the right way, or maybe they've perfected their own egg sandwich that is great JUST the way it is. There's not ONE right way to do this, but my guidelines will at least make an average egg sandwich much better.

What the world has always needed is more men complaining about minor and inconsequential inconveniences in a loudly "funny" way. Certainly, egg sandwich makers of Manhattan will appreciate Checkler's help; there can't be anything deli workers love more than a bro who is passionate about the craft of egg sandwiches giving them "tips."

Checkler writes that he needs "$310 for printing and mailing costs, as well as for my time researching every corner of Midtown Manhattan to find out who needs this breakfast-saving leaflet." As of press time, Checkler's Kickstarter has surpassed its goal by $69. That's a lot of shitty egg sandwiches to eat.