Angelina Jolie didn't show up for the premiere of Unbroken this weekend, and it wasn't because she found out last week from the Sony leaks that Hollywood producer Scott Rudin called her a "minimally talented spoiled brat." No, apparently Jolie is hiding her face because it is covered in chickenpox.
In a YouTube video posted by Universal Pictures on Friday, Jolie regally announces that she's ill:
I just wanted to be clear and honest about why I will be missing the Unbroken events in the next few days, which is that I found out last night that I have chickenpox. So, I will be home itching and missing everyone. And I can't believe it cause this film means so much to me. I just can't believe it!
Though her face and décolletage do appear to be covered in red marks, don't pray for Angie. She's fine. "Such is life," she says at the end of the video.
Pray for Sony exec Amy Pascal, who has now been exposed to both Jolie's icy stare and the varicella zoster virus, which causes shingles in normal adults.
Angelina Jolie and Amy Pascal come face to face. Awk-ward. pic.twitter.com/TZc9dPJc8d
— Scott Bixby (@scottbix) December 12, 2014