If you had to guess which CNN anchor lashed out at satirical website Clickhole this afternoon, your first pick would be the idiot Don Lemon, right? Mine too. Sadly, we’d both be wrong—it was actually Lemon’s slightly more credible colleague, Anderson Cooper.

Earlier today, Clickhole published one of its trademark “Find Out What [Three Celebrities] Have to Say” stories with the following quote from Cooper’s fictional NYU commencement speech:

“Graduation is a big deal—bigger than getting a hole-in-one while golfing. People might think you’re lying about the hole-in-one, but when you graduate, you get a diploma.”

Funny to everyone except Cooper, who wanted to make it very clear to his 5.88 million followers that he has no idea what Clickhole is talking about or even what Clickhole—the popular web-centric spin-off of legendary satirical publication The Onion—is.

Cooper also, apparently, believed that Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan said this to students graduating from the University of Chicago:

“Go to uchicago.edu/interstellargradgrabbag and enter the nine-digit code on the bottom of your diploma. One in five wins a DVD prize pack, and one lucky winner will be flown to an exclusive meet-and-greet with Matthew McConaughey in Honolulu.”

Hundreds of retweets and six minutes later, he realized his error:

A shameful mistake, sure, but at least Cooper now has something in common with Russell Crowe.

Contact the author at taylor@gawker.com.