Adult child Jimmy Kimmel recently welcomed his first baby with wife Molly McNearney. He wants to raise his daughter right, so he did the prudent thing and sought out advice from someone more grown-up: A 7-year-old boy.

Young Vere is kind of a buzzkill, advising Kimmel not to let the baby throw knives, steal, or drink wine(??). That's too bad, because she'll need those coping mechanisms to survive growing up in a world where nothing that seems real is truly certain.

[H/T Tastefully Offensive]