Beyoncé: Rest in Power, Colin Powell, and Happy Birthday John Mayer

Queen Bey confounds us all once again

Life and death
Sarah Hagi

Randall Emmett Is No Longer Lala Kent’s Man

It's not about the pasta. (Unless "the pasta" is cheating.)

Bambi-Eyed Bitch
Kelly Conaboy

Aside From the Offensive One, Jackson Mahomes’s TikToks Are Pretty Cute

The boy just wants to dance

Olivia Craighead

Gary Paulsen Understood That Children Live in the World

It is cruel and hard and full of wonders.

Jonah Walters

Does Jake Gyllenhaal Really Want to Get Married and Have Babies?

I'll believe it when I see it

Future Father of Daughters
Allie Jones

Bill Gates Reportedly Reprimanded for Unsolicited Cybering at Microsoft

At the time, he was not single but apparently always ready to mingle

Modern Love
Jenny G. Zhang

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck Sob While Kyle Richards Just Laughs; the Boys Are Inconsolable

‘The Last Duel’ flopped at the box office, while ‘Halloween Kills’ killed.

hello kyle
Kelly Conaboy

Covid Powell Dies

He's eating yellowcake in hell

Tarpley Hitt

Sicily Bans Godfathers

Citing the problem of too many gold chains

Claire Carusillo

Private Couple Gets Quietly Engaged

Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker can finally have sex soon

Olivia Craighead

Big Screen, Big Worms

How these cinematic creatures burrowed their way into our collective nightmares.

Big Worm
Erin Berger

I Am Haunted by Joe's Stupid Little Bookselling Apron

It is more disturbing to me than all the murders

Red Flags
Nicholas Russell

Sinema's Drug: Drug Money

Those neon wigs don't buy themselves

Tarpley Hitt

Consumerism Reports: The $249 Blast to the Ass

Maybe this thing I bought off Instagram will fix me

Take Several Seats
Claire Carusillo

Here’s Today’s Main Character or Whatever

Their only job is to bring people together for communal dunking

Slow News Day
Jenny G. Zhang

Badass Rolling Stone Editor Fucking Swears Up a Storm He Doesn't Give a Shit

I’m not a regular editor I’m a cool editor

sex drugs and AP style
Leah Finnegan