Glenn Beck is co-opting the Boston marathon bombing to hawk gold to his slackjawed fans. But hey, he's not the only fucktard palmetto bug trying to turn exposed femoral arteries into legal tender.

Without much effort, the Philadelphia Daily News managed to find t-shirts, hoodies, and stickers commemorating the Boston tragedy on sale online for as much as 42 bucks a pop.

That's downright enterprising compared to the knuckleheaded hucksters who simply framed up the front pages of various newspapers from Monday and injected them into the eBay fever swamp.

Or the dude who reportedly tried to auction 10 Boston bombing-related domain names. And that other guy, with the $7.99 Kindle book of blast-site pics? He won't be able to move his lips fast enough when he reads all the lawsuits he's about to get from photographers.

But presumably that will feel like a bath in fine warm flesh-caressing oils, compared to the screaming circle of fresh fiery hell reserved for gedunk-hawking vermin who speculate on dismemberments. Beelzebub, take them now.

[Buzzfeed, Philly Daily News]

[Image via AP]