Justin Bieber's Hamster Is Dead
Why does the universe continue to test Justin Bieber?
First, the world's most singin'-est teenager had a worst-day birthday. Then, a video of him squeaking curse words at a photographer surfaced online. Then everyone started speculating he was having a full-on breakdown.
AND THEN HIS HAMSTER DIED.
He'd given it away to a random fan after a concert four months prior, but still. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? If a hamster dies four months after Justin Bieber gifts it, does that hamster still have enough swag/masculine energy/stage presence to be revered as a sexual icon for the teens of the world?
Justin Bieber appears to have acquired the hamster, a totally chill pet for a young man to have, on or around October 20, 2012. He named him "Pac," possibly after the rapper 2Pac, possibly due to a misinterpreted spelling of "patch." He promised to bring him to every meet-and-greet of his 124-stop world tour.
This is PAC the hamster my new believe tour pet I will bring him to every meet n greet instagr.am/p/RB3bL6gvqB/— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) October 21, 2012
A week later, Justin Bieber posted a photo of Pac on the red carpet. This was followed by a shot of Pac learning the whims of his new mistress: the Open Road.
They were a dynamite pairing: the boy with the crystal voice and the rodent with the eyes like onyx. One a tiny hamster, the other: a tiny hamster. Forever would come too soon; they would be friends for a thousand lifetimes.
About a month and a half later, Justin Bieber decided that, on second thought, a month and a half with Pac was long enough. On December 12th, he gave the pet away (cage and all) to a random screaming fan outside a Jingle Ball performance in Atlanta, Georgia.
That fan, Tori McClure of Albertville Alabama, described the day she received Pac as the best of her life. She told E! News that she credited the hamster with inspiring her to pursue her dream of singing professionally.
BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!— Tori. ♡ (@victoriablair21) December 13, 2012
Three months later, Pac was dead.
On Wednesday, McClure told TMZ she became worried about the hamster's health a couple weeks ago, after he began losing his hair. She took him to a veterinarian who instructed her to prepare for the end. Pac was, in her words, "like an old man."
Most hamsters live between 1 to 3 years in captivity. Pac's exact age has not been disclosed, though McClure observed to a h8r on Twitter that he "wasn't young" when Justin Bieber acquired him.
Shortly after the visit to the vet, Pac shuffled off his mortal coil. He passed quietly as most hamsters do. McClure buried him in her backyard, a location she described as "peaceful."
Justin Bieber has yet to release a statement on Pac's death, though he did imply Lindsay Lohan was a broke-ass trainwreck in a ranty Instagram post. (A few minutes later, he deleted the line about Lindsay).