It's almost never a good thing for a stripper to make the news. The last 24 hours — which has seen strippers hospitalized, arrested and fired — has proven at least that much.

  • In Cleveland, a 22-year-old stripper named Lauren Block — pictured above — is currently in critical condition after falling from a balcony at Christie's Cabaret. Block was dancing for a client when she attempted what police are calling a "jump-dance" move, sending her headfirst over a railing. Block reportedly suffered "massive head trauma." Hopefully she can make a full recovery.
  • A South Florida (#Florida) stripper named Arlene Mena was likely pretty drunk, high or some combination thereof yesterday when she decided to do some "artwork." Mena was arrested after tossing a traffic cone and spitting at a motorist driving along A1A in Hallandale Beach. According to a witness, Mena said she was part of a television show (she was not), then that she's a federal agent (she is not) and then that she is friends with Hallandale Beach mayor Joy Cooper (she is not). Instead, she is out on $1,000 bond.
  • In Atlanta, a male stripper named Corey John Capels was fired from Bliss Atlanta for hating gays and announcing so on his Facebook page. Imagine that. Capels called police to report damage to his Maserati that he suspected was done by one of the club's bartenders. After an incident with the club's manager as the two reviewed surveillance, Capels took to his Facebook to write "I hate all faggots burn in Hell" — clearly he's not a stripper trying to pay for college. In any event, Capels was fired.

So, if you ever decide to become a stripper — and if it means owning a Maserati, I'd at least consider it — make sure you at least manage to stay out of the news.

[photo via ABC News via Facebook]