Like the rest of you, I've been worried sick this week about the fate of Hostess' top executives. Will they leave their bankrupt company with the millions of dollars they deserve? If not, who will provide for their families as they hit the unemployment line? Thankfully, we can all have a happy, stress-free weekend: Hostess executives gave themselves raises up to 300 percent even as they were preparing to file for bankruptcy.

BCTGM members are well aware that as the company was preparing to file for bankruptcy earlier this year, the then CEO of Hostess was awarded a 300 percent raise (from approximately $750,000 to $2,550,000) and at least nine other top executives of the company received massive pay raises. One such executive received a pay increase from $500,000 to $900,000 and another received one taking his salary from $375,000 to $656,256.

Hostess' 18,500 employees are now out of work, but the company's job creators escaped with enough cash to re-invest in the American worker. Take, Brian J. Driscoll, that CEO who had his salary bumped to $2.55 million by the board. He was ousted from Hostess by the Teamsters after that salary raise, but why get discouraged? He clearly has experience running a thriving and successful confectionary company, so why stop now?

I've got an idea for a new product that I think will fill the niche left by Hostess and get executives like Driscoll back on their feet. It's a yellow cake roughly the shape of a coffee filter, filled with a thin layer of vanilla icing and adorned with chocolate frosting in the design of a pinwheel. Its name: the Golden Parachute.

[via Think Progress, image via Getty]