Tom Hanks is not an easy guy to get a hold of, even if you are former Singled Out host and current Nerdist Podcast frontman Chris Hardwick.

Knowing Tom Hanks' unabashed weakness for vintage typewriters, Hardwick attempted to "persuade" the two-time Academy Award winner to do an interview by sending him a 1934 Smith Corona typewriter.

Here's a transcript of the letter he got back:

Dear Chris, Ashley, and all the diabolical genuies at Nerdist Industries.

Just who do you think you are to try to briibe me into an appearance on your
'thing' with this gift of the most fantastic Cornona Silent typewriter made in 1934?

You are out of your minds if you think... that I... wow, this thing has great action...
and this deep crimson color... Wait! I'm not so shallow as to... and it types nearly


I will have my people contact yours and work out some kind of interview process...

Damn you all to hell,

Tom Hanks

The subsequent podcast was predictably awesome.

[screengrab via WhoSay, photo via Reddit]