Ever so quietly, Nutella — AKA crack-cocaine in spreadable hazelnut form — has launched a coast-to-coast "Breakfast Tour" aimed at promoting the anytime treat as a "quick, easy and tasty way to start the day."
If you haven't yet let yourself be consensually molested by its nutty goodness, now's your chance to give in guilt free.
Well, free, anyway.
And remember: The Nutella Breakfast Tour don't quit until everyone is satisfied. Or someone gets violently ill. Whichever comes first.