Japanese artist Tatzu Nishi unveiled his latest art installation Discovering Columbus 75 feet above Columbus Circle in New York yesterday, and everyone celebrated by looking up the statue's skirt and not hugging it.
The installation consists of a "fully furnished, modern living room" built around the 13-foot high statue of Christopher Columbus perched atop a tall granite column in the explorer's eponymous circle. The monument was built in 1892. The living room features a large TV and is accessible by elevator.
Italian Americans have previously spoken out against the project, with the leader of one interest group who has obviously never seen a trailer park, going so far as to say "It looks like a trailer park." Another citizen described the monument in Columbus Circle as a symbolic "beating heart of New York City...for all immigrants who came to this country" and called the installation "a disgrace."
Already, people are proving that they can't comport themselves like grown-ups around this statue: The New York Post has images of one polished-looking 48-year-old lady reaching her hand up toward the statue's crotch, to see if he could find a big ol stone dick there or what.
"If he's that big here, I figure he'll be that big elsewhere," joked Dana Korey, 48, of California.
She was chastised by a security guard.
Nishi himself was reportedly disappointed the public had failed to adequately sexually assault his work.
Nishi, who has installed rooms around other statues, said he was worried people hadn't liked it because no one hugged the statue, as they did at his shows in Europe and South America.
Enjoy your art, everyone.