An unshaven, skinnier, cuckolded Robert Pattinson appeared on The Daily Show Monday night to give his first interview since Kristin Stewart ground up on another man's privates in a park.

In case you missed it, we live-blogged the event and scrutinized Rob's every move. Here are some things we gathered about Robert Pattinson's condition:

  • He's sad.
  • Maybe he's not that sad.
  • He's wearing the color blue because he's sad.
  • He's lost weight.
  • Red eyes from crying.
  • He's cracking jokes, presumably to shield himself from the pain.
  • He had the "clear-eyed super-lucid earnest thing" going. Pretending he's not a mess.
  • Jon Stewart makes for a pretty okay post break-up pal.

And thus, the show ended. Robert Pattinson went back to his solitary hotel room— in, which city are we in again?— to whittle away the hours on Chatroulette, until the sun comes up and the whole charade begins again.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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