Another normal night in Gaston County, North Carolina. Pastor Richard Robinson was at home minding his own business and enjoying the Southern summer night when his neighbors came barging in, armed to the teeth and high as shit on bath salts. Spoiler alert: the neighbors did not end up eating Pastor Robinson.

Apparently what happened was this: Pastor Robinson's son-in-law was for some reason talking on the phone to Donna Jean and Phillip Walls, Pastor Robinson's neighbors. The son-in-law noticed something wasn't right, so he called the Robinsons to give them a heads-up. When Pastor Robinson opened his door to look around, the Walls burst in; Mr. Walls was armed with a .44 magnum revolver and a green military bag full of several other guns while Mrs. Wall was holding a 9mm pistol and a knife.

"They just came stumbling in, waving a gun like someone was after them," Debra Robinson said. "She was delusional. She was acting like a wild animal."

Richard Robinson said the Wallses were hallucinating, under the impression that someone was under their home trying to kill them. Debra Robinson said the couple was prepared to gun down anyone who walked through the front door of her own home after they barged in.

They weren't just carrying guns, though; they'd also grabbed other essentials:

When they reportedly barged into the home, the Wallses were also toting a duffel bag with jewelry, guns and wigs inside, Debra Robinson said.

"They pretty much had their own little army," she said.

Yes, an army of wigs.

The fast-thinking Pastor was able to talk the couple down, thankfully. I would describe it, but it's tough to top this for poignancy:

Donna Jean Walls ultimately laid a handgun she was brandishing on the Robinson's kitchen table, Richard Robinson said. A portrait of Jesus at the Last Supper hangs above.

Consider me converted.

According to the arrest report, the couple fired seven shots in the air before entering the Robinsons' home. There was also some dog wrestling.

Sgt. McInnis said she rolled around in a yard with the gun and dogs; the shots weren't really aimed at or intended for anything.

The whole incident left Sgt. McInnis shook, on some No Country for Old Men stuff.

"Trying to make sense of what they're doing is virtually impossible," he said.

The couple is charged with "going armed to the terror of the people" as well as breaking and entering.

[Via the Daily News: Image via Kings Mountain Police]