Yes, we know that we advised you all to avoid buying private jets during the recession, lest you suffer some bad PR. And hundreds of millions of you listened to us, judging from the number of non-jet owners out there! But things have changed: now is the time to buy a private jet, everyone. Do not miss this buying opportunity!

Act now, because private jets can currently be had at rock bottom prices. "The bargain rush is on," according to a man with a direct financial stake in selling private jets. "A sleek Gulfstream 5 - a symbol of success known among owners simply as a G5 - can now be had for as little as $20 million."

Do not miss these deals!

Everyone who's anyone is doing it. Who cares what stupid old Joan Rivers thinks? Even Karl Lagerfeld's pets are private jet devotees. Attend the Olympics in style while you still can. Buy a private jet—today.

There is literally no reason for YOU not to buy a private jet, right now. Loser.

[Photo: AP]