Last Friday evening Michelle Knutson knocked back a few cold ones—it was the weekend, NBD—and decided to hang out on her porch to enjoy the warm summer air, NBD.

She was naked, but that was NBD because, as she later told a police officer, she "always" walks around her house naked. She was spread eagled, legs splayed ("exposing her genitals to passing cars and pedestrian traffic," according to the police report), but even that wasn't that B of a D when compared to something like war.

When a cop showed up on her porch, The Pioneer Press reports that Knutson was like, "Meh, NBD" and didn't make any moves to cover herself until specifically requested to do so.

When the police officer asked Knutson how she ended up a giant naked starfish on her front porch, she told him that she'd stepped outside earlier and gotten locked out of her house by her husband.

For Knutson, getting locked out of her house by her husband was NBD. She decided to kick back and "get some sun" until life provided another path for her.

NBD, but Knutson wasn't actually locked out of her house. Her husband denied doing that. The policeman confirmed that the Knutsons' back door was unlocked when he arrived, because home security is NBD.

Michelle Knutson was arrested on suspicion of lewd/lascivious behavior, but subsequently released without charges being filed.


[Pioneer Press via CBS // Image via Grant Terry for Shutterstock]