A Queens man who broke into rap mogul Sean Combs' East Hampton house this past spring, tried on his clothes, and drank his Hpnotiq has just been charged with trespassing and petit larceny, The New York Post reports.

Quamine Taylor was sentenced to time served since his April arrest (he was unable to make bail, set at $2000) and ordered to stay away from Diddy's homes for "at least five years," though, considering he is a crazy person who breaks into Diddy's homes, an order to stay away from them "for the rest of his life" might have been more appropriate.

But it wouldn't have been necessary. According to Taylor's informal verbal Yelp review of his stay at Le Chateau Diddy, the experience is average at best. Here are just a few of the comments he made to The Post following his arrest:

  • On vacation spot selection: "I really didn't go to Diddy's house because I'm a big fan of his. I just wanted to get out of the city for a while. "
  • On ambience: "I got a good night's sleep, but it's not anything too special."
  • On the cheapest rattrap in East Hampton: "It's just like a three bedroom."
  • On relationship with management: "I stay there a lot, but Sean gets funny sometimes about me staying there." (Taylor was previously arrested for breaking into Diddy's house in 2001.)
  • On scheduling flexibility: "I was actually hoping to stay like 15 to 17 days." (He was arrested after approximately 24 hours.)

In the face of such substandard conditions, Taylor bravely tried his best to enjoy himself. The Post reports that he told prosecutors at his sentencing "I brought a cheesesteak, a cheesecake, a bucket of fried chicken - which I ate at the house - and drank a ‘dollar' bottle of Hennessy and four cans of Pepsi." Followed by a deep dental cleaning using Diddy's toothbrush and an average night's sleep.

But back up—Pepsi? This joint really is low-class.

[New York Post // Image via Getty]