An Interview with Stanley the Adult Baby
Stanley Thornton Jr., America's most prominent Adult Baby, is, in his own words, an open book. He became an internet sensation last year with his first TV appearance on National Geographic's Taboo after the episode featured the 30-year-old drinking from a bottle and getting his diaper changed. Just week's after the show aired, Stanley was investigated for Social Security fraud. (He was later cleared of all charges.) Almost a year to the day later, Stanley returned to TV on an episode of TLC's nightmare factory, My Crazy Obsession.
What is so interesting about Stanley, despite the obvious, is his openness and complete willingness to share his experiences with strangers. The My Crazy Obsession post drew the usual onslaught of asshole commenters, but an undaunted Stanley engaged with as many commenters as he could, answering questions candidly and thoroughly. So we reached out to Stanley via email for more insight into his strange world.
Interview has been edited for length and readability.
When did you first notice you had the urge to act like a baby? When did you first fulfill those urges?
Well, the first time I found I had the urge to act like a baby was about age 14. I began to wet the bed at 13 and decided to try diapers about three or four months later. At first I didn't like diapers. But after about four months or so in diapers I got used to them. I was just about 14 years old when the first urge to act like a baby came up. The next time I was at the store to buy diapers I got a pacifier and a baby bottle. That afternoon I was home alone and decided to role-play a bit. I had a baby bottle of milk and watched cartoons while sucking on the pacifier. It was great. But that was the first time I acted on the urge to be a baby.
How have your family and friends reacted to your lifestyle?
Family, they didn't take it well. I did my best to keep it all secret, but every now and then my "stash" would be found. Normally, I would come home to find my stuff had been thrown out. My mom found my stash of diapers once and told me if she found them again she would throw them on the front lawn and tell everyone they were mine. She never actually did it, though. She and my brother had the most issues with it. My dad, outside of one incident, didn't care. The one time he found my diapers he called me into the room and had me watch him throw the diapers in the trash and told me, "I am NOT raising another fucking baby!" and sent me to my room. That was the only time I clashed with him on the role-playing. My grandfather on my mom's side told me as long as I am wearing diapers I am not welcome in his home. Seeing as I wear them for incontinence and not just role-playing, I don't see me ever being welcome in his house.
Basically, the family has never really liked me. Even before the baby stuff. By the time I began role-playing as a baby the only ones in the family I had contact with was my grandma on my dad's side, my parents, my brother, and some limited contact with my two godfathers when they wanted me around. But I have mostly been the black sheep. Today, the only family member I still have contact with is my mom, and that's limited. It's a work-in-progress.
As for friends, 99 percent of my friends are Adult Babies like me, or Diaper Lovers. So they already understand and are fine with what I am into. Those friends I have who are not into the AB/DL community accept me as I am. When I am visiting my non-AB/DL friends, the topic comes up every once in awhile, but mostly we just shoot the breeze. When visiting AB/DL friends, we often have a "Play Date" and role-play together.
Are you able to maintain your life as an adult baby outside the home as well? Does it interfere with work/social interactions?
When I leave the house, I am as adult as anyone else. I only role-play in the privacy of my home. The one place in public where I role-play is when I am playing in the park. But I only visit the park when it's empty, such as in the early morning when it first opens, as I don't approve of role-playing in front of children. I think it would confuse them to see adults acting as a toddler or small child. But anyway, that's the only time I role-play in public. Many people I interact with are aware of my adult baby role-playing, but it doesn't really get in the way of things. My therapist knows, my medical doctor knows. And especially since the episode, many of those I interact with know about the role-playing. But no, it doesn't cause any social problems.
Do you role-play with other adult babies or is it more of a solitary activity? Do you ever engage in parent-baby role-play?
Role-playing with others depends on who's close by. It's of course a lot more fun when you can role-play with others. I have been lucky to been able to attend get togethers or what are called "AB Parties" where a group of AB/DL's and caretakers come together. I attended an AB birthday party for a friend once and we played pin the tail on the donkey and musical chairs and other kids games. Then I attended an Easter party and we had an Easter egg hunt. In the past, I have been able to be babied by Mommies. That's my favorite.
Back in 2002, I moved to New York to live with an AB Mommy full time. Mommy Pam. She would tuck me into bed each night. She would feed me bottles. We would play blocks, color, and do other fun stuff. Being babied by a Mommy is my favorite role-playing. Thanks to the TLC show, I connected with an AB female who saw me and felt a connection to be my Mommy. We talked and we really hit it off. She currently lives in New York, but she is saving up to move out to California to live with me full-time. We want role-play with us both as babies and also with her as my Mommy. Right now we talk twice a day on the phone and role-play online. It's too early to tell 100 percent, but there might be a possible boyfriend/girlfriend relationship there. We will see. We have tons in common. To date, we only clash on two topics, politics and religion. But those are hot topics anyway.
Those are hot topics. So when you do have sex, are you then having sex with "your" mother? Is the "role-play" a mother and baby having sex?
When we have sex, it would be as two adults as boyfriend and girlfriend. The AB parts of us are separate from such a adult activity as sex. It's done that way to keep our kid side as pure and innocent as possible. Plus I think it would be ewww if it was Mommy/Baby sex. Yuck.
Have you thought about having children together?
The subject has not come up yet. Very early to think about that.
You mentioned before that adult baby role-play, at least for you, is not sexual. What impact has it had on your sex life? If and when you have have sex, do they understand? Do they engage in role-playing?
No, my role-play is not sexual at all. That's correct. It hasn't had a impact on my sex life. The issue is I have never had the desire to have sex. It's not due to not having the chance, it's just that I have no desire to. Never been interested my whole life. I understand sex for procreation, but not much beyond that. And the female I met back east who may be a girlfriend in the coming months, feels the same way I do. She has no desire to make love. Instead of the relationship being based on sex, it's based on our relationship in other areas. We enjoy talking about all kinds of different topics. Sex just isn't one of them. When sex does take place, she would have to either be a adult baby or Mommy herself, or at least be accepting of it. Right now, the woman I am seeing is a baby and a Mommy herself. So the role-playing won't be any issue for us. But for most AB/DL's who are in a relationship, the role-playing doesn't impact their sex life. My friend was married and had three kids. So clearly sex and being AB/DL doesn't create any problems.
Do you have any interest or connection to diaper fetishism?
I believe your speaking of DLs or Diaper Lovers. I guess in a way, ABs are also Diaper Lovers as well. For me, diapers are a big part of the role-playing. You want a babyish diaper to make the role-playing feel more real. For me, I was able to track down the pattern that was on the front of Pampers back when I got into role playing back in 1994. So I print out the pattern on sticker paper and using clear packing tape I attach it to the front of the adult diapers and now they look nearly exactly like the Pampers I wore as a teen, making the baby feel more real. So I guess I am a DL in that aspect. But in the area of being turned on or excited by diapers themselves or wearing them, no, that's not something that happens to me. Not that there is anything wrong with those who do find diapers a turn on or exciting. To each their own, is how I feel. As long as it doesn't harm them or others and doesn't break any laws, to each their own.
And the website you run, www.bedwettingabdl.com? How is that going?
Yea, I am still running it. The site's going OK, I guess. Two more people asked to be moderators on the message board, so that's cool. That frees me up to put more time into replying to all the e-mails. But yea, it's going all right.