Here's an unsettling mail-related story in which the postal worker is the victim.

Jeffrey Lill delivered a strange package on February 4 last year: sent from Yemen, it was leaking "a brown, viscous substance." There were tubes and wires sticking out of it. Since coming into contact with the unknown fluid, Lill has been suffering from toxic exposure. But the Postal Service claims the package never existed.

Either way, Lill is definitely sick.

In a story published in Sunday's Miami Herald, the Florida Center for Investigative Reporting says Jeffrey Lill suffers from extreme fatigue, tremors, and liver and neurological problems consistent with toxic exposure.

If he was poisoned by something else, why make up the leaking package story? And not to put on my tinfoil hat, but when a government agency denies the existence of something, I'm inclined to believe the opposite. Blame it on watching too much X-Files during my formative years.

It doesn't help that the version the other side is spinning is weirdly vague.

The Postal Service says the incident never happened. Its lawyer said in a letter that there was a harmless spill two days earlier, but that nothing happened on the day Lill says he was injured.

Harmless spill, eh? Just a coincidence that a year and a half later, one of your postal workers is chronically ill.

I demand a thorough investigation, or at least wild speculation in the comments.

[Image via Shutterstock]