Kids these days: what the hell are they? That is the question that faces American time-wasters today. As you know, the latest generation with a formal name is "The Millennials," and they are basically the worst, continuing the grand tradition of every new generation being the worst.

USA Today helpfully lists the five latest generational pop culture names: Greatest, Silent (ha suckers), Boomer, Gen X, and Millennials. God, each one is just unbearable in its own special way. And what to call these rising young whelps of today? The ones whose earliest sexual fantasies involve Tyler the Creator and/ or Azealia Banks in vast quantities of GoGurt™? The ones who have never known life without Rookie Magazine? The ones who are always screaming so loud about things, on the street? Why all the screaming? Why?

Little Punks, is the best I've come up with so far. It's Friday afternoon, okay. Please put your superior ideas in the Gawker Media Comment Area. Later we'll call these kids names but good.

[Photo of kids these days: Samantha Jade Royds/ Flickr]