"Let's teach horny frogs to zip it up" is the headline today on the professional newspaper column written by Andrea "Sexxx Sexxx Sexxx Sexxx Embittered Tabloid Lady" Peyser. Seems like a good headline for someone whose primary interests are anger and frog cocks. (Andrea Peyser.) What is in this column, today?

Well Linda Evangelista is in a child support case and this French bastard doesn't want to pay up. "Why the fuck does Andrea Peyser care?" you might wonder. Well, I mean, no reason, I mean, just, you know, professional reasons, is all, it's not like she has a crush on anyone, or anything, heh.

Sultry catwalker Linda Evangelista... She strutted into Manhattan Family Court, with its fluorescent lights and hard wooden benches, looking slim and tall in a floral silk blouse, black skirt and the standard accoutrement of supermodels everywhere - sky-high, tan do-me pumps... her face, ethereally pretty...

And then this French bastard, who had the pleasure of making sweet, sweet love to the object of Andrea's admiration, doesn't want to pay half a million a year in child support. What's the problem with the world today, according to Andrea Peyser? "Men who want to indulge in zipless adventures without suffering the consequences." Sex must kill. Sex must kill everyone.

Andrea Peyser is really honestly not a lesbian. She like, hates them.