You think because you "took the stairs" this morning that you can eat whatever you want? Nope, because we're all fat. The fat people are fat. The skinny people are fat. The regular people are fat. The young and old are fat. You're fat. I'm fat. Your mom's way fat. We're fatter, in fact, than we thought.

In news-that-should-make-you-feel-worse this morning, the New York Times points out just how fat we've become, and how far we've buried our heads in the sands of our collective fatness.

People in the normal weight range selected the correct category about 80 percent of the time, but 58 percent of overweight students incorrectly described themselves as normal weight. Among the obese, 75 percent placed themselves in the overweight category, and only 10 percent accurately described their body size. (Notably, a sizable minority who were at a healthy weight described themselves as being underweight.)

I know when you got ready this morning you did your hair, your make-up, and put on your clothes. Maybe you asked yourself, Do those pants make me look fat? Yes, they do. Because you are fat.

As a nation, we are sliding peacefully into a food-coma of denial, where our fat friends make us feel skinnier than we are in reality, our BMI calculators are straight up lying, and our fat doctors won't tell us when we're gaining weight.

Jesus, just go the gym already.

[NYT's Well Blog; Image Shutterstock]