Sometimes, Slate Magazine's Explainer column tackles topics you've always wondered about ("Why are horses good for making glue?" They have a lot of collagen.) and answers questions pertinent to everyday life ("How do you win the claw game?" Scope out the scene for a few rounds, then work with a partner.).

And, sometimes, it pulls weak mess like this:
"Why Are Secret Service Agents Always Touching Their Ears?"

Whoa, you might say to yourself, I always thought it was so they could hear what was coming through their earpieces better. I wonder what the real reason is.

"It's just so they can hear better," Slate reveals. And then it flails around to come up with a couple more sentences to make a paragraph. Members of the Secret Service need to hear what's coming through their earpieces, because it might be important. The earpieces are "not uncomfortable."

As if readers could ask for more, Slate then offers a bonus explainer:
"Why are Secret Service agents always wearing sunglasses?"

I would assume it's to keep the sun—
"—To keep the sun out of their eyes," Slate interjects.

Always good to get confirmation.

By the way, the answer to the question in the headline: Inserting them into Colombian prostitutes.

[Image via Getty]