Meet Ed Houben, a 42-year-old Dutch nerd who couldn't get laid to save his life until he became a sperm donor. According to a hard-to-believe Der Spiegel article, a Houben actually lost his virginity in a sperm donation situation straight out of a porno:

When he met women, they seemed like people from another world, simultaneously threatening and iconic. Women wanted good-looking, athletic guys rather than men like him. As a student, Ed sometimes necked with girls when he was drunk at parties, but that was the extent of his romantic life. In other words, he had no experience… He met a couple in 2004. The man was Dutch and sterile, and the woman was South American. They made it clear to him that they didn't want just a cup of sperm. Instead, the husband said, they wanted intimacy and emotions for their child at the moment of its conception. His wife taught Ed, 34 at the time, about passion.

Houben says he finds prospective clients on, a German sperm donation network that encourages women and donors to connect independently and set up donation contracts on their own terms. Houben's sexual repertoire includes the "missionary" and "Chinese Puzzle" (??) positions. Der Spiegel reportedly viewed the Excel "balance sheet" Houben keeps to track successful inseminations and births, and spoke with several of his happy customers.

He should start a trade union with this guy.

[Der Spiegel]