Chinese cinema-goers looking to draw Kate Winslet like one of their French girls will have to do so from memory, after the state censored her nude scene in the 2012 Titanic re-release.

Ironically, it is this very atmosphere of repression that drove headstrong Rose DeWitt Bukater into the arms and chaise longue of free-spirited third class scamp Jack Dawson in the first place.

In response to the censorship, one satirical website made up a quote it claimed to have received from an unnamed official at China's Administration of Radio, Film, and Television:

"Considering the vivid 3D effects, we fear that viewers may reach out their hands for a touch and thus interrupt other people's viewing. To avoid potential conflicts between viewers and out of consideration of building a harmonious ethical social environment, we've decided to cut off the nudity scenes."

Tons of English-language news outlets are running with this quote even though, guys, it's obviously not real. The rumor probably originated with this blog post, which fails to mention the joke aspect.

The Chinese state news agency Xinhua reports that "there is no official response to the roll-back of the censorship policy concerning the 3D film."

Also, the Chinese movie-going public are not medieval villagers; they understand how 3D works.

However, while the quote may be a fabrication, the decision to cut the scene is painfully real.

People who paid good money to experience Kate Winslet's breastesses in eye-popping 3D are none too pleased.

Many question why the film has been re-censored since, in 1997, the full, uncut nude scene was broadcast in Chinese theatres.

Added one highly cited microblogger, "I've been waiting almost 15 years, and not for the 3D icebergs."

But then, of course, that's exactly what he's been waiting for.

In more serious Chinese censorship news, Internet users in China reported this morning that they were unable to access any foreign websites for about an hour, in what was believed to be a temporary expansion of the country's infamous governmental firewall.

According to the Chinese government, the country's infamous governmental firewall does not exist.

The cut in service coincided with a recent announcement by Xinhua, stating that the government had closed 42 websites and deleted over 210,000 blog posts since mid-March as part of a crackdown on "online rumors."

While Xinhua didn't identify the specific rumors targeted by the government, a pretty good bet is that they're the ones having to do with popular politician Bo Xilai, whose wife is suspected in the recent murder of a British businessman.

Or the ones suggesting Miley Cyrus is anorexic. (She claims she's just gluten-free.)

[Image via Getty]