Despite the fact that they have been bombarded since birth with public service announcements ranging from grim depictions of throat surgery to "cool" social media campaigns portraying cigarettes as a product consumed only by suckers, kids these days continue to smoke cigarettes, according to the U.S. Surgeon General, who has warned them about this a million times. Kids these days. What's wrong with kids these days?

The full report is 900 pages, but here's what it comes down to: you get four high school kids together in a room, and one of them is gonna be smoking on a cigarette before long. You get eight high school kids together in a room, you'll have yourself two smokers. And so forth. And they just keep on smoking until they keel over. "Of every three young smokers, only one will quit, and one of those remaining smokers will die from tobacco-related causes."

Kids these days need to think of their mothers.

[Photo: James Alby/ Flickr]