Adolf Hitler may have fathered a son by a French teenager while serving as a soldier in World War I, according to a recent issue of France's Le Point magazine.
A recent re-examination of evidence in both France and Germany has lent credence to the claims of late Frenchmen Jean-Marie Loret, that Hitler was his father.
According to Loret, Adolf Hitler had an affair with his mother, sixteen year old Charlotte, Lobjoie, while stationed in France in 1917, back when he looked like this:
"One day I was cutting hay with other women, when we saw a German soldier on the other side of the street.
He had a sketch pad and seemed to be drawing. All the women found this interesting, and were curious to know what he was drawing.
I was designated to approach him."
As any pick-up artist worth his salt knows, a sketchpad is a prop second only to an adorable dog when you're trying to mack.
But it wasn't all hay cutting and doodles between Hitler and Lobjoie. The Führer's idea of a romantic date reportedly involved ambling about the French countryside, where the the pastoral beauty of the natural world would move him to start screaming crazy things in German.
"When your father was around, which was very rarely, he liked to take me for walks in the countryside.
But these walks usually ended badly. In fact, your father, inspired by nature, launched into speeches which I did not really understand.
He did not speak French, but solely ranted in German, talking to an imaginary audience."
Jean-Marie was born in March of 1918, nine months after what Lobjoie described, mom-ishly, as a "tipsy" June evening. His mother, who kept in contact with her psychotic bootycall even as he rose to power as dictator of Germany, gave her son up for adoption to the Loret family in the 1930s.
Ignorant of his alleged family background, Loret fought against the Nazis in 1939, ultimately becoming a member of the French Resistance.
Lobjoie confessed to her son the details of his (in)famous lineage just before her death in the 1950s. Loret says that, to cope, he "worked non-stop, never took a holiday, and had no hobbies. For twenty years I didn't even go to the cinema."
Among the new pieces of evidence which support Loret's claims are official papers from the German Army showing that officers brought envelopes of cash to Miss Lobjoie during World War II.
Mr. Loret also stated that he found paintings in his mother's attic signed by Hitler.
In 1981, Loret wrote a book titled Your Father's Name Was Hitler detailing his quest to verify his mother's claims. A version of the book updated with the new evidence is now slated to be released.
I bet he took a lot of heat for that mustache.
[Images via Getty]