Shrieking tabloid xenophobe and enemy of sluts Andrea Peyser really hates Valentine's Day. Haha, "shocker," right? Haha, "breaking news." Haha. But seriously guys.

A day I dread more than pedestrian malls, the neighbors' brats or a Madonna concert is creeping up fast... For this is the day set aside to observe a manufactured holiday replete with unrealistic expectations and crushing disappointments. It's dedicated to wilting flowers, stale chocolates and flimsy undergarments one shouldn't touch without a vaccination.

I'm talking about Valentine's Day.

Andrea, besides the fact that the human emotion of "love" is your own personal kryptonite, why else do you hate Valentine's Day? "My husband proposed on Valentine's Day." Oh.