Today we heard from donkey semen swallower Brynne Odioso, who said knocking back a glass of viscous donkey spooge is "the sickest thing you can ever imagine."

Beg to differ. Here are twelve things sicker than drinking donkey jizz that I imagined just now:

  • Drinking donkey diarrhea.
  • Swimming in donkey diarrhea.
  • Swimming in donkey diarrhea with your mouth open
  • Baking a soufflé with the smegma of Newt Gingrich.
  • Licking clean a fecally incontinent nonagenarian's butt.
  • Sucking farts out of a lactose intolerant warthog.
  • Licking Michael Lohan's taint.
  • Rubbing your face through the still-squirming flesh of a vivisected human.
  • Sticking your tubular nose up someone else's anus, and pulling out a turd with your nostril. (Applies only to elephants.)
  • Sticking your head in an elephant's anus.
  • Pouring period blood into Goatse's giant asshole, sprinkling leper skin on top, then inserting a straw made from the foreskins of mummies, and drinking it.
  • The institution of the monarchy in Great Britain.

The last one is a metaphor. [Image via Eric Isselée/Shutterstock]

13 More Embarrassing Things That Can Happen During Sex