The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) rolled out a new set of guidelines regarding public school lunches today.

The rules, which constitute the first major changes to the school lunch program in over fifteen years, are part of the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010, championed by Michelle Obama.

A summary posted on the official USDA blog outlines the regulations' intent to:

• Guarantee students are offered both fruits and vegetables every day
• Increase offerings of whole grain foods
• Ensure proper portion size by limiting calories based on the age of children being served


• Reduce the amounts of saturated fat, trans fats and sodium contained in menu items

Luckily for kids, the USDA didn't get all the changes they asked for. The U.S. Congress, a legislative body famously run by children, stepped in to protect the rights of French fries (still, legally, a vegetable) and pizza (still a vegetable, on the condition it not be the only vegetable offered that day).

In response to these changes, kids across the nation are expected to stomp angrily up the stairs, until their parents make them come back down here and try walking up the stairs the right way.

[Image via Shutterstock]