Animatronic tabloid rage sex screed-writer Andrea Peyser has set aside her sexcellent sexcapades for a day in order to get good and rageful about something deplorably predictable. "More rage, less sexxx" may be Andrea Peyser's catchphrase, in 2012 (time will tell). What is Andrea rageful about, today? Well, let's just see what's in the movie theaters, shall we?

Ah yes: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. Can you believe that someone has made a movie that incorporates 9/11, the most dramatic man-made disaster in recent American history, into its plot? Seems like a little something is missing, eh?

But the most outrageous falsehood promoted in the film is the thing it leaves out. The word "terrorist" is consciously never said. Nor is "murderers," "butchers" or "Muslim extremists."

Early reports indicate that the film also neglects to say "Herky jerky monkey boys," "Dirty Muslin towelhead animals," or "Let's all go kill Muslims, we're not joking, there are crates of guns directly to your left when you leave the theater and the bus is waiting outside to take you to the nearest mosque."

Andrea's other objection to the movie is—direct quote here from Andrea Peyser's professional newspaper column, folks—"'The message isn't 'love one another.'"

Folks, we just copy this stuff down for you word for word, that's all. Oh, mercy.