Ancient Australian fertility god Rupert Murdoch has joined Twitter, and so far he is really bad at it. Not that it has stopped the news media from exhaustively covering his Twitter exploits—which so far include scrubbing a Tweet off of his timeline after it apparently offended people—and for getting completely hoaxed by a fake Wendi Deng account.

The @wendi_deng account, which was verified by Twitter for a 24-hour period (and apparently also confirmed by a News Corp spokesperson, for some reason), revealed itself as a fake this morning after a weekend of articles about how Murdoch's wife was helping him with Twitter. The @rupertmurdoch account, however, is the real deal—verified by Twitter chairman Jack Dorsey, one of the nine people Rupe follows—and boy, is it boring and terrible.

So far Murdoch has only barely courted controversy by wondering if "maybe Brits have too many holidays for broke country!"—a Tweet he somehow removed from his timeline, though it's still live as a permalink—and encouraging Iowans to "think about Rick Santorum." Boring! (Not that it's stopped whole articles from being written about these things.) Rupe! Why won't you do something fun, like Tweet about how Barack Obama is racist or the special secret business punishment committee? But no: it's all We Bought a Zoo this and "my grandkids" that.

To prove our point, we've put together Murdoch's five worst Tweets below. If you still want to be one of his 87,000 followers, don't say we didn't warn you: