I do not understand the physics of JWoww's slutty new bikini line, which performs the heretofore unimaginable feat of being even sluttier than JWoww's slutty clothing line.

To explain the strange case of JWoww's gravity-defying boob patches, let's read the FAQ from Perfect Tan Bikini, the company that powers JWoww's sluttiness:

Q. How Does Your Bikini Stay On and Work?
A. The Inside of our bikini top is lined with Stick2U, our patented silicon based adhesive. Stick2U is activated by your body temperature so the warmer you get in the sun the more it stays in place. Have no fear, the top will stay securely in place. Our motto is, Stays on and Stays Put!

But— but— but—

Q. Is it waterproof?
A. Yes. Stick2U, our patented adhesive is 100% waterproof.

But it can't—

Q. Is it difficult to take off?
A. Not at all. Taking the bikini off is very similar to taking off a band-aid.

But what if—

Q. Do you need to have implants?
A. No, the Perfect Tan Bikini can be worn with real or augmented breasts.

But how come—

Q. How many times can you wear the bikini?
A. A Perfect Tan Bikini can be worn 10-15 times.

Ooh, now I get it. They're pasties you can wear to the beach. A reusable panty liner for your tits. Carry on, I guess. [Perfect Tan Bikini, Starcasm]