The New Twitter Is Supposed To Get You Laid
There's a famous tech saying that all good social networks begin with the question, "How will this software get my users laid?" Twitter wants you to believe it's new redesign has nailed this particular feature.
Figuratively speaking, of course.
The social network is slowly rolling out a new look. Everything's been shaken up and moved around, first and foremost the content of the main page, which has been moved to the right side for some reason. Supposedly everything is getting simpler and easier to use. "Less places to click, less things to learn," Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey told the New York Times. Probably we'll all just get incredibly angry as this rolls out, and Twitter will ignore us, and life will go on.
But in the meantime Twitter's trying to get a jump on the inevitable deluge of redesign flames with a whole new website to promote the new look, featuring a video of a guy named Nick who reads a Carl Sagan quote on the new Twitter, tweets something heartfelt about "#space," finds a cool video about space, and, less than two minutes after tweeting, gets invited to watch a meteor shower with the comely "Tatiana."
He accepts the invitation and runs out the door, bringing his long extendable telescope with him. The implication is clear: Embrace the new Twitter and you, too, could end up on a hot stargazing date with a likeminded lass. That could certainly happen! Or you could end up reading about the human centipede and space aliens in your pajamas. Either way. Twitter is a diverse community, and you can't fit that into a two-minute video. Just the best (imaginary) parts.