Today we learned that some Mormons are prudes, particularly those wrathful BYU co-eds fighting tooth and nail to keep skinny jeans illegal. Perhaps it isn't a moral thing, but actually a Freshman Fifteen thing that has them tossing their denim onto a smoldering ban fire. One commenter sets the scene for us with some BYU fanfic.

First, Quantum Suicide references

...Or, even worse, pull down the beautiful STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION by Mark E. Petersen, Council of the 12 Apostles (Mormon Church/LDS) that I'd posted yesterday?

And in response, from Inset Clever Name:

Int.: A BYU dorm kitchen. Midnight. A lithe young BYU student is standing next to the refrigerator, hastily eating Marshmallow Fluff straight from the jar. A friend enters.

Friend: What are you doing in here?
Student: (Mortified) Oh, mercy, I was overcome with the desire to misuse my vital organs, and I just had to come down here and eat a snack.
Friend: Don't be ashamed, we've all been there.
Student: Now I'm worried that all this snacking will make me gain weight.
Friend: That's okay. I like you just the way you are. I've always liked you just the way you are. Now let me help you get some of that Marshmallow Fluff off your fingers...

[Omage via Shutterstock]