The statistical wizards at Men's Health have calculated the happiest and saddest cities in America. And, well, they are cities that no sane person has any business living in. But even so, their ten saddest seem a lot better?

Yes, using the extremely scientific methodology of "calculating suicide rates and unemployment rates" plus "number of people who report feeling the blues all or most of the time," Men's Health arranged the 100 biggest cities in the country in order of sadness. We don't dispute that St. Pete and Detroit are pretty sad. But Memphis? And Miami? And Las Vegas? (Okay, Las Vegas is maybe "sad," but in an existential postmodernist way, not in a "I've got the blues way." As long as you stay away from the casinos off the strip.)

But more importantly, their "happiest" cities are incredibly lame. Honolulu is beautiful but... it's on an island. Rounding out their top five they've got Manchester, N.H., Fargo, N.D., Omaha, Neb. and Boston, Mass. Fargo, guys. Fargo! When Boston is the coolest and most fun city you have on your list, your list has a problem. They can't even choose the right half of the Twin Cities, going with stupid St. Paul over Minneapolis!

The Ten Saddest Cities

  • 1. St. Petersburg, Florida
  • 2. Detroit, Michigan
  • 3. Memphis, Tennessee
  • 4. Tampa, Florida
  • 5. Louisville, Kentucky
  • 6. St. Louis, Missouri
  • 7. Birmingham, Alabama
  • 8. Miami, Florida
  • 9. Reno, Nevada
  • 10. Las Vegas, Nevada

The Ten Happiest Cities

  • 1. Honolulu, Hawaii
  • 2. Manchester, New Hampshire
  • 3. Fargo, North Dakota
  • 4. Omaha, Nebraska
  • 5. Boston, Massachusetts
  • 6. Madison, Wisconsin
  • 7. Sioux Falls, South Dakota
  • 8. St. Paul, Minnesota
  • 9. Burlington, Vermont
  • 10. Plano, Texas

[Men's Health, Daily Mail, Image via Shutterstock]