The convoluted explanations of defenders of French politician and accused rapist Dominique Strauss-Kahn have always centered around calling his accuser, on very slim evidence, a whore. But no, DSK explains in a new biography! She wasn't a whore—she was just a slut.

In DSK's Affairs: The Counter-Inquiry, by biographer Michel Taubmann, Strauss-Kahn comes clean about his personal life: "I participated in swingers' nights, that's true. But usually the participants in these nights are not prostitutes." (Only sometimes are the participants prostitutes.) As for the accusations of rape, here's blogger and French politics expert Art Goldhammer's translation:

"She headed toward the door but seemed to be in no hurry. She looked him straight in the eye. Then she unabashedly stared at his organ. The flesh is weak. DSK interpreted this as a proposition. The situation amused him. He did not resist the temptation of fellatio. The act was rapid, very rapid. But it is contrary to the laws of physics that without a weapon he could have forced his 'victim' to kneel." Later, we are told, he passed her in the hall, and she waved to him and said hello.

You see? She wasn't a money-charging whore—just a lust-crazed religious Muslim slut with a fiance. Taubmann's book also endorses the not-saying-just-saying conspiracy whispering of New York Review of Books' Edward Jay Epstein, who implies that the entire incident was a setup based on the fact that he doesn't believe DSK raped anyone. Very mysterious and exciting, if you don't understand the concept of Occam's Razor.

[Art Goldhammer, NYP, image via AP]