Beware the turkey jihad! Unsuspecting families across Christian America will sit down to Thanksgiving dinner this week, completely unaware that they are about to feast on a bird that was slaughtered in accordance with Shariah law and will therefore give them Islamic cooties!

According to this insane lady, at least.

Pamela Geller, the well-known shrieking madwoman of the anti-Muslim right who brought us the claim that Barack Obama is Malcolm X's lovechild and is therefore a welcome repeat visitor to Fox News Channel, has discovered a shocking truth about the Islamicization of our meat: Most slaughterhouses routinely kill animals in such a way that they can be certified as Halal, or kosher for Muslims. That way, they can sell them to Muslims, making more money. And non-Muslims are none the wiser. Until now. Geller has learned that leading turkey-murderer Butterball slaughters all of its turkeys halal-style:

Across this great country, on Thanksgiving tables nationwide, infidel Americans are unwittingly going to be serving halal turkeys to their families this Thursday. Turkeys that are halal certified — who wants that, especially on a day on which we are giving thanks to G-d for our freedom? I wouldn't knowingly buy a halal turkey — would you? Halal turkey, slaughtered according to the rules of Islamic law, is just the opposite of what Thanksgiving represents: freedom and inclusiveness, neither of which are allowed for under that same Islamic law.

What kind of vile acts does this halal slaughter consist of? "Halal slaughter involves cutting the trachea, the esophagus, and the jugular vein, and letting the blood drain out while" chanting Islamic prayers, Geller reports. Creepy! This Thanksgiving, call your local butcher and demand a turkey that was killed American-style: By a ghoulish snowbilly who cuts the trachea, the esophagus, and the jugular vein, and lets the blood drain out while Sarah Palin makes celebratory incantations in front of television cameras and children scream in terror.

[Turkey image via]