Just as the world's fanciest coffee is made from the partially digested coffee beans plucked from a Filipino tree rodent's poop, the world's fanciest tea will soon be created from the dung of panda bears.
The tea is a passion project of a Sichuan University lecturer named An Yashi, who says it will cost $80,000 per kilogram when it hits markets. He says it will have antioxidant properties similar to those of green tea:
"Pandas have a very poor digestive system and only absorb about 30 percent of everything they eat. That means their excrement is rich in fibres and nutrients," he told Chinese website Scol.com.cn.
"It has a mature, nutty taste and a very distinctive aroma while it's brewing."
In the distant future, humans will form caste systems based on the rareness of the animals whose poop we eat. The poor will eat rat poop like cereal; the rich will dine on nothing but the excrement of unicorns.
In other news, turns out panda poop looks like stuffed grape leaves from the Greek deli near my house. Previous panda poop products include paper made from the beast's fiber-rich shit. [SBS, Neatorama]