Herman Cain's wife, Gloria, will finally appear with Fox News' Greta van Susteren tonight for her big introduction to the world! Since you won't watch that, here's a 37-second preview — just enough to "get" her.

What does she think about her husband slammin' ladies' faces into his crotch back in the day? "I know that's not the person he is," she says. "He totally respects women." Totally! "He would have to have a split personality to do the things that [Sharon Bialek] said." Well, where's the shrink? Let's run some tests.