Like thousands of New Yorkers, Dr. Anthony Marx, the 52-year-old president of the New York Public Library, was massively inconvenienced on Sunday by marathon road closures. No problemo! He just threw his Audi A4 (registered to the library) into reverse, floored it — and slammed it into a garbage truck on East 138th St.

Cops arrived at the scene and immediately noticed that Marx had been hitting the Dewar's Decimal System pretty hard, if you catch my drift.

More than an hour later, he allegedly blew a .19 on a blood alcohol test — more than twice the legal limit of .08.

Keep in mind this was at 3 p.m. What the hell kind of five-martini librarian lunches are our tax dollars funding, anyway? Marx was charged with aggravated DWI and released without bail following his Monday court appearance.

In a statement, Marx said "I deeply regret embarrassment caused to my family and to The New York Public Library." Patience and Fortitude weep salty lion tears at Marx's egregious lack of either. [NY Post, Photo via]