"When you're a Domino's manager you're a Domino's manager all the way, from your first cigarette to your last fiery hit on a Papa John's outlet that results in arson charges for you and your colleague." This is how the song might go today, if West Side Story were set in modern-day Florida and about rival corporate pizza chain crews instead of New York City gangs.

Our imaginary remake of Sondheim and Bernstein's tear-jerking musical is inspired by the woeful tale of Sean Davidson (left) and Bryan Sullivan (right): two Domino's managers from Lake City, Florida who allegedly burned down a Papa John's shop and now face arson charges. According to police, Sullivan believed that taking out the Papa John's would help their employer's bottom line, so he helped Davidson set the blaze. Davidson has reportedly confessed to the crime, and now police are trying to find some sort of ignition device that the men created out of a battery, a plastic bag, and gunpowder but decided not to use. "Davidson and Sullivan told police they could not remember where they were when they threw it from the vehicle, but that it was probably between U.S. 90 in Lake City and Newberry Road in Gainesville," reports Ocala.com, your place for corporate pizza war news. If you happen to walk along that stretch of U.S. 90, don't pick up any weird-looking incendiary devices! Call the cops first.

Upon hearing the news of Sullivan and Davidson's arrests, the staff of the charred Papa John's broke into a choreographed song-and-dance number that involved throwing pizza dough in the air and waving bread sticks. They're now up for a Tony Award.