Well, duh. Why did we believe that House Majority Leader Eric Cantor would actually go through with his surprise speech on income inequality today? He always walks away just when things are getting tough. And apparently a lecture hall at Penn's Wharton School of Business wasn't secure enough to protect Cantor from the catcalls of protesters, so the gig is off.

About 500-1,000 protesters from Occupy Philadelphia, Keystone Progress, AFSCME and other big unions and progressive groups were planning to march from City Hall to the Wharton building ahead of Cantor's speech, to heckle him. But the speech planners' carefree admissions policy raised the possibility that some of these dirty hippie fucks might be able to get inside the building, according to the Daily Pennsylvanian:

The speech was scheduled several months ago and was to be open to members of the press and the Penn community.

Thursday night, however, the Office of the Majority Leader was informed that the first 300 people would be admitted to the lecture, regardless of affiliation to the University. All Leadership lectures are open to the public, according to Peter Winicov, senior associate director of marketing and communications.

Oh well. You can read the text of Cantor's planned remarks here. We've only skimmed it for a few seconds but have already noticed such lines as "Through his example, you can see that America needs more than a jobs plan. It needs a Steve Jobs plan" and "Stability plus mobility equals agility." (MBAs love this shit.)

[Image via AP]