Diane Passage, the pole-dancing wife of Ponzi schemer to the stars Ken Starr, penned a column for noted employer of prostitutes The New York Post today. The title is "How to Get What You Want From Men," which is ironic, because Diane actually failed to get what she wanted from Ken, since it turned out he was a criminal without a legitimate penny to his name. But let's not quibble.

Instead, let's focus on the beams of joy radiating from Misogynyland, as they celebrate tricking some women into thinking that wearing lucite heels and g-strings is an act of "empowerment."

I wasn't aware of just how powerful women can be until I worked at several gentlemen's clubs, including Scores. […] It was a sales job—one that involved torturous sky-high stilettos and wrestling matches with drunk, horny customers. Still, the skills I learned at the clubs empowered me to accomplish bigger and better things outside of it.

Excerpts from Diane Passage's "basic rules" on how to "get the most from men," i.e., maximize the monetary value of your vagina:

4. Every girl should know the basics of fishing and dog training. Several years ago, my son took an interest in fishing. I had to learn, too, so I could help him with it. Little did I know that my basic fishing knowledge would end up serving me well in the world of romance! When dating, I like to try a fun and sporty approach. As the person who's fishing, I'm able to lead my "fish," so I have the advantage of getting what I want. My bait: smile, hair, makeup, clothing, stilettos and either legs or cleavage (never both at the same time). My hook: a flirty, mysterious demeanor.

5. My wallet does not exist. It might sound like an outdated cliché, but if you're a woman, you should never reach into your wallet while you're in the presence of a man. Even if you've been married for years. Not only must a man pay for the main components of a date (dinner, etc.), but they must also take care of taxi fare, coat check and bathroom attendant tips. The woman who believes in this mantra is not a gold-digger or obligated to "return the favor." The few times I've gone "dutch" on dates, it usually results in the man feeling emasculated because of it - or it means the guy has some sort of money hang-up.

I'd discuss this remarkable work of detailed gender study further, but I'm kind of busy herding this barbaric stampede of faceless men over to Elizabeth Cady Stanton's grave, so they can stand in a circle and urinate on it. [NYPost, Image of Passage via Pumps Mag]