Be sure to send a congratulatory greeting card and $5 to your friend Bank of America, which has just posted third-quarter profits higher than last year's. About $6.23 billion! Not a bad showing. However, J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. has surpassed them in assets, so those upcoming debit card fees are still necessary if you want Bank of America to stay in business and keep producing jobs.

After your trip to the post office, think about giving your new BFF Vikram Pandit a call to congratulate him on Citigroup's 74 percent earnings increase this quarter. Almost as much as your earnings increase, am I right? Citibank's new checking account fees are still necessary, though, for reasons that should be obvious to you by now.

[Reuters. Image via Getty]