Today marks the start of the 2011 Values Voter Summit in Washington D.C., the annual opportunity for social conservative politicians and organizers to fluff each other and terrify swing voters. So! How are things going today?

  • In the clip up top, you can see Washington's naughtiest little boy, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, condemning the Occupy Wall Street protests! "I for one," the little boy says, "am increasingly concerned about the growing mobs occupying Wall Street and the other cities across the country. And believe it or not, some in this town have actually condoned the pitting of Americans against Americans." Good heavens! This at the conference designed to pit ultra-Christian conservatives against the liberal forces of Satan (everyone else). Cantor, you naughty, naughty little boy.
  • This is clearly Rick Santorum's party. What did he have to say? "When you look at someone to determine whether they'd be the right person for public office, look at who they lay down with at night and what they believe in." Got it? Look at who Rick Santorum is laying down with at night. Although he usually charges $20 for watchers.
  • Deranged radio wingnut monster from outer space Bryan Fischer, the American Family Association's infamous "Director of Issue Analysis for Government and Public Policy," will speak right after Mitt Romney, bringing Mittens criticism that won't matter in the slightest from liberal advocacy groups. So what might Fischer complain about this year? Perhaps the creeping threat of halal foods at supermarkets. "To see where things are going with this whole halal business," he recently said, "look no further than the U.K., where grocers have gone whole-hog – pardon the expression – on offering halal meat but without telling anybody about it." Grrr!

Learn more here. And you can watch this all on CSPAN, so there's no need to change the channel from what you're already obviously watching.