The third quarter fundraising deadline for presidential candidates is today, today's the day! If you are subscribed to President Obama's campaign email or text message alert lists, you're well aware of this, because you are constantly getting emails and text messages with cutesy variations of, "So how bout those dumb Republicans, eh? Want to have dinner? Give us money right now." Here's the official recorded history of this aggressive blitz, going back a couple of weeks.

September 14 — Email
Sender: Barack Obama
Subject: "James, can we meet for dinner?"
Funny line: "Maybe I'll get to thank you in person."
Ask: $75

September 16 — Email
Sender: Jim Messina, Obama 2012 campaign manager
Subject: "How this dinner thing works"
Funny line: "I know some people might think this is just some kind of trick or something. It's not."
Ask: $75

September 17 — Email
Sender: Julianna Smoot, Obama 2012 deputy campaign manager
Subject: "Put this on your car"
Funny line: "Maybe you're wondering how putting a magnet on your car will help re-elect the President."
Ask: $10

September 21 — Email
Sender: Jen O'Malley Dillon, Obama 2012 deputy campaign manager
Subject: "Serious deadline"
Funny line: "Our President is out there doing great things."
Ask: $75

September 23 — Email
Sender: Ann Marie Habershaw, Obama 2012 chief operating officer
Subject: "Yes or no, James?"
Funny line: "The scale we're talking about is unparalleled, and any time someone uses the word 'unparalleled,' that means it probably doesn't happen for free."
Ask: $75

September 23 — Text
Message: "Want to have dinner with President Obama? Enter to join him and three other supporters for a meal this fall."

September 26 — Email
Sender: Jim Messina
Subject: "11,084 people in Washington, DC"
Funny Line: "Our records show that you aren't one of the 11,084 people where you're from who have stepped up for 2012."
Ask: $75

September 27 — Email
Sender: Barack Obama
Subject: "If I don't call you"
Funny Line: "I'll be calling some grassroots donors like you by phone this week, so I can say thank you." But: "And if I don't call you, there's a chance I'll see you at dinner with three other supporters sometime soon." But: "Even if I don't get to thank you personally, every single donation counts."
Ask: $75

September 28 — Email
Sender: Michelle Obama
Subject: "Take him up on it"
Funny line: "As someone who's eaten countless meals with my husband, I want to tell you the one thing to do if you're selected to join him... Just relax."
Ask: $75

September 28 — Text
Message: "Checked your email yet today? The First Lady sent you a note."

September 29 — Email
Sender: Rufus Gifford, Obama 2012 national finance director
Subject: "Why we've been sending you emails"
Funny line: "It's been way too long since we called our moms."
Ask: $3

September 30 — Email
Sender: Barack Obama
Subject: "Stronger for it"
Funny line: "We're building something different here."
Ask: $3

September 30 — Text
Message: "Today's your last chance to throw your name in the hat for Dinner with Barack. Give it a shot before midnight tonight."

So... are the numbers coming in a bit below target this quarter?

Update: Another just came in! This one from "The Enforcer."

September 30 — Email
Sender: Joe Biden
Subject: "What's stopping you, James?"
Funny line: "This has never been about Barack and me. We're just two guys."
Ask: No dollar request.

[Image via Getty]